Simon Macbeth Arrested Development | Part 1 of 3

Simon Macbeth Arrested Development | Part 1 of 3

When I was kicked out by my Dad, it was the beginning of a really hard time in my life. I always felt poorly. I had diarrhoea for ages because I wasn’t eating properly. The food I was eating came from a local supermarket where I was shoplifting twice a week. I’d buy a loaf of cheap off-white bread. The meat, cheese, pack of sausages or whatever I was stealing was to fill sandwiches with. It’s not a healthy balanced diet when you’re having the same thing every day just…

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Simon Macbeth Arrested Development | Part 2 of 3

Simon Macbeth Arrested Development | Part 2 of 3

I’m feeling hot now, claustrophobic. The room’s very small and it’s busy. There’s only one desk in the office and three strangers deciding my fate. At some point someone’s going to ask me why I’ve been shoplifting and I know I need an answer. What will these people want to hear? Is there anything I can say that will get me out of this room? I’m confused and want to be at home. How the fuck did I let things get this out of hand? There’s a knock on the…

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Simon Macbeth Arrested Development | Part 3 of 3

Simon Macbeth Arrested Development | Part 3 of 3

Time passes and no one says a word, until I see why he apologised. He stands and produces some handcuffs from his belt. My memory goes back to when I was brought into the room in front of all of those other shoppers. It’s going to be a million times worse this time with handcuffs on. I start to cry now. I wipe away the tears and I plead with him. I plead for him not to put the cuffs on me, but it doesn’t do any good. He repeats…

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Simon Macbeth an Early Memory | Part 1 of 3

Simon Macbeth an Early Memory | Part 1 of 3

I was only four years old. I was in a pub with my Dad, Mum, my elder sister Helen, and some of my extended family, including my paternal Grandparents. I was a typical four-year-old kid, inquisitive and unworldly. I’d never come across a fruit machine before and had no idea what one was or did. It was a huge thing; three times my height, stood in the corner of a Leeds pub. I could only peer up at the screen where all the activity was, at the eye level of…

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Simon Macbeth an Early Memory | Part 2 of 3

Simon Macbeth an Early Memory | Part 2 of 3

Please read part 1 first – http://www.simonmacbeth.co/autobiography/simon-macbeth-an-early-memory-part-1-of-3/ It was a quiet sort of pub. People milled around whilst waiting to catch their train and there’d also be a few regulars in there. The Gladiators game named after the TV programme, which had been big hit a couple of years beforehand, was the most popular machine in the bar. It was always in view, taunting me with its lights. The jackpot on that machine was £6 and it paid out in credits, little metal tokens, which they don’t do anymore, thank God….

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Simon Macbeth an Early Memory | Part 3 of 3

Simon Macbeth an Early Memory | Part 3 of 3

Please read part 1 first – http://www.simonmacbeth.co/autobiography/simon-macbeth-an-early-memory-part-1-of-3/ As an adult, Simon Macbeth wanted to put something back and help youngsters in similar situations to mine. When I started volunteering at ChildLine I had real difficulty relating to other counsellors. I’d unintentionally say things that upset people. I’ve always felt an intense need to be heard and for people not to consider me stupid. I think at ChildLine people found me over opinionated and sometimes aggressive. I never had any problems communicating with the people on the phone, so I went to…

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Simon Macbeth – A Work of Fiction | Part 2 of 2

Simon Macbeth – A Work of Fiction | Part 2 of 2

Part 2 of 2… (read part 1 here – http://www.simonmacbeth.co/autobiography/simon-macbeth-a-work-of-fiction-part-1-of-2/ Cousin Wesley had originally been packaged in corrugated cardboard and there was a lot of interest in the boxes alone which were fetching well over a hundred pounds. I bought a genuine Wesley in original packaging and also ordered in a truck load of 2-ply corrugated cardboard. The box that Wesley came in wasn’t glued or stapled but folded over neatly, fitting together like a very simple 3-D jigsaw. By unfolding the cardboard I made a stencil template and proceeded to…

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Simon Macbeth – A Work of Fiction | Part 1 of 2

Simon Macbeth – A Work of Fiction | Part 1 of 2

Below is the unused chapter 1 from Simon Macbeth’s autobiography “Too Tired To Play Games”. This is a work of fiction, thus was never used…. plus it is a bit shitty too…. Simon Macbeth walked into Hope Street and the wind froze my frown. I sunk my chin deeper inside the neck of my coat and decided that it was time to shape my own fate. I’d always striven for a control of my own life, which made it tough to come to terms with the truth, that the fingerprints…

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